tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post2473401176264145448..comments2024-03-26T21:56:56.910-07:00Comments on The House of Nash: I unleashed the beast withinAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10462509372537876654noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-44844778466464144742011-02-09T04:27:29.112-08:002011-02-09T04:27:29.112-08:00Thanks Amy, I was worried I might hurt you by what...Thanks Amy, I was worried I might hurt you by what I said! I have to watch my own mouth too! lol<br /><br />Thumbs up to Marnie too!Emily in Wonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11122201207831118701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-39422000631208094792011-02-08T08:16:09.099-08:002011-02-08T08:16:09.099-08:00I agree with everything your friend Rachel already...I agree with everything your friend Rachel already said. I doubt your doctor was offended and I'm sure your perspective was eye-opening for her. <br /><br />I think about this sort of thing a lot living in California. Where's the balance between being tolerant of the status-quo opinions here versus my own beliefs and expressing them without offense but still being brave enough to stand up for my beliefs? I don't know if that makes any sense. <br /><br />Living here has made us more aware that our beliefs are the minority. We don't want to offend others as we talk about important issues but we also don't want to slink away from them.Marniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02482022182830564621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-22760316464788921482011-02-03T07:04:47.415-08:002011-02-03T07:04:47.415-08:00Thanks guys for your thoughtful and insightful com...Thanks guys for your thoughtful and insightful comments and for making me feel like I was not a total idiot for what I did, even though I felt like one. Em - I totally agree that I was not on my best behavior and I also agree that it was very big of the DTD not to argue back with me. It was probably that very friendly politeness that made me feel safe to open up about these things to her. I appreciate your perspective too and the things it gives me to think about.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10462509372537876654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-52905047298100498612011-02-03T00:49:29.739-08:002011-02-03T00:49:29.739-08:00"The only real way to influcen people's o..."The only real way to influcen people's onions is to raise them yourself..."<br /><br />By that I mean, by raising the person, by being the parent and raising them with the same values you do. lol Wasn't sure that was clear.Emily in Wonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11122201207831118701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-60014481509848479652011-02-03T00:44:36.813-08:002011-02-03T00:44:36.813-08:00I think that although it is good that you got in t...I think that although it is good that you got in touch with your feelings and I think most likely there is more to this than even you got into here- that you might benefit from talking to someone about this- that there are women out there whom choose to end their pregnancies when you so much want to adopt their child, and your frustration and upset over that- I think what you experienced was a whole LOT of supressed rage, upset and hurt. The fact you got in touch with that and expressed it, is good because ultimately it will help you be in a better place for yourself.<br /><br />The thing to be careful about is the venue you choose to let yourself go in. I respect the OBGYN enormously for keeping her mouth closed- especially knowing you live in the Bay (I'm in Sac, I KNOW how they are, LOL) and respecting you for your feelings, but sometimes you have to try to remember to bite your tongue too. You don't know the experiences and background of the person you are talking to. Just like I'm sure it would be really upsetting if the doctor had randomly started going off about how people who are pro-life are.... close minded or... I don't know. [Insert something really offensive here.] It would be really upsetting to you because of your personal situation. Now, let's say.. maybe the doctor was raped by her father when she was 13 when she was pregnant and had an abortion, and she had to listen to you rant. <br /><br />Remember when you don't know someone, you don't know where they are coming from, and you can really hurt someone, even if you are just speaking up for your beliefs. I think in the end that you're 1.) not convincing anyone of anything, because everyone feels really strongly about what they believe in and 2.) that's it's more important to share your feelings with an audience you know (people who are like-minded) or who is prepared for a debate, so that a discussion and thoughtfulness is the end result, rather than ruffled feathers, hurt feelings, or maybe even bad flashbacks.<br /><br />I was attacked as a pre-teen and a friend once went on and on about how sad it is that a friend of hers had been charged with rape because it ruined his life. She was convinced that he hadn't done it because the victim dressed provocatively and had a reputation for dating around. For me, her statements made me totally hysterical and hurt me deeply because of my own experiences. I took it personally.<br /><br />lol I gotta climb off my own soapbox now. I hope I didn't go too far in my blubbering. <br /><br />ALSO: Remember a doctor cannot influence a patient's descion on abortion. It's something the woman chooses and schedules prior to coming in. A doctor is not a counselor and can't put their two cents in about it, it's not ethical. They could get reported for that. Also, I'm not sure if it's state law but pretty much all health providers require a mandatory counseling/screening session prior to having one... But even then, it's not the therapist's job to influence the patient's descion, it's their job to make sure the patient is informed and sure so they can sign off on it. (Or not.) The only real way to influence people's opinions is to raise them yourself... <br /><br />Okay, NOW I'm getting off the box. Sorry for the hijack. I hope I got the point across without being too much? It's not that I don't agree with you. It's NOT. I do. I just believe in being careful with your audience and being careful not to hurt anybody who could be hurting... Blah, blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, right? lol<br /><br />(FOund you through the Meanest Mom) :)<br /><br />Good Luck with the baby!!! I'll be praying for your family!Emily in Wonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11122201207831118701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-12495436149256784292011-02-02T21:05:46.816-08:002011-02-02T21:05:46.816-08:00I recently told a friend of mine that I can't ...I recently told a friend of mine that I can't believe anyone would have an abortion. She said, "My older sister had an abortion. She wasn't in a position in her life where she could've handled a baby." At first, I was embarrassed by what I had said--but then I wasn't. I said, "Well, I get that...but that's when you place the baby for adoption." My friend knows that I can't have babies, and so I think she understood and wasn't offended. I think it actually gave her a new perspective to think about. So what I am saying is, based on the source, I doubt the doc was offended and probably was actually touched. Hearing a woman who is desperate for a child talk about abortion is probably eye-opening in a good way.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07736424221463366337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-19458484596340634392011-02-01T21:15:50.226-08:002011-02-01T21:15:50.226-08:00Oh dear. That is quite the conundrum. I think th...Oh dear. That is quite the conundrum. I think that regardless of anything, beating yourself up over something that happened this morning isn't going to do any good. It's good to learn from situations (whether or not you ultimately lean toward ashamed or proud, you've learned something), but don't worry too much about it.Nikki Mendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02682561235709020281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-26999720892315085092011-02-01T09:53:53.999-08:002011-02-01T09:53:53.999-08:00I did sort of the same thing in Fourteenth Amendme...I did sort of the same thing in Fourteenth Amendment (were you in that class?). I regret it now, because my rage wasn't conductive to understanding others' points of view. I was just interested in expressing my side. I'm not saying you did the wrong thing, because I doubt your doctor would have thought it was an appropriate setting to explain why she was pro-choice no matter what tone you used. And I think it was great that she got your perspective. But I think I really understand the pro-choice position now that I've calmed down about the whole thing, and I'm grateful for that.Dorothyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10839493673328480197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-26940962023109576942011-02-01T08:24:28.822-08:002011-02-01T08:24:28.822-08:00Go Amy go. There is no shame in stating your view ...Go Amy go. There is no shame in stating your view point. You have a view point that many, including the DTD, have never heard. I hope it put in her mind a new perspective on this very important moral issue. It was kind of her to hear you out and not argue back. Maybe you made more of an impression on her than you realize...<br /><br />(Oh btw, thanks for your comment on my comment...I tried emailing you but you have a no-reply address..)LeAnne Ballardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13019348095927152009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-60540387886412946742011-01-31T23:19:56.541-08:002011-01-31T23:19:56.541-08:00I think sometimes people are too careful about bei...I think sometimes people are too careful about being politically correct so as not to offend someone who might have different views. There should be no shame in expressing your honest opinion on a moral issue. Good for you! And who knows, maybe she'll just stop and think twice about her own opinion.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05250577940234149853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-13830726306797065002011-01-31T22:27:45.371-08:002011-01-31T22:27:45.371-08:00You go girl. I think it's great that you stood...You go girl. I think it's great that you stood up for yourself and what you believe in, especially in an environment that is so threatning. Hopefully you at least gave her another perspective.Marenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07577439070890988533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3553622521915843865.post-72895927439267072132011-01-31T22:01:10.645-08:002011-01-31T22:01:10.645-08:00I think you are great. I think when you feel stron...I think you are great. I think when you feel strong feelings about serious stuff, it's just a matter of time before it comes out. And if it makes you feel more normal, I've totally lost it at my DTD's office before too :) Maybe they expect it...a bunch of BShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12525545742859809577noreply@blogger.com