Texas Wedding

Way back in December (seriously, this poor neglected blog), we flew to Texas for Kayli's wedding.  We are so, so glad that we got to be there for this special event - one that we have hoped and prayed for for her.  

It was a quick trip but totally worth it to spend time with Kayli and her family.  

We actually flew in Thursday night and spend Friday at the Ft. Worth Stockyards where they herd Texas longhorns down the street a couple times a day for the tourists.  It was a little hokey (especially the "shoot-out"), but a whole lot of fun and those are some pretty impressive animals with amazing horns.  

We also went for a ride on a stagecoach, got the girls' picture taken with a real Texas Santa Claus, and ate some amazing Texas BBQ at Cooper's (I highly recommend!) for lunch.

That night we went to a rehearsal dinner for close family and friends and got to catch up with everybody and eat even more delicious Texas BBQ (which was 100% fine by us!).  Clara had been wiggling a loose tooth for weeks and ended up pulling it out right there at the dinner, which was hilarious and gross at the same time, so the tooth fairy visited our hotel room that night.

It was nice spending some relaxing time visiting with friends and family who we haven't seen since Clara was born there 6 1/2 years ago.  And it was great having a little time to talk with Kayli's then-fiance, now husband, Connor.    

The next day we spent grabbing breakfast at the Allen Diner.  Paul is ALWAYS happy when he finds a good greasy spoon to eat in, and he is still talking about this place.    

Then we spent the rest of the morning swimming at the hotel pool before getting cleaned up and heading over to Kayli's parents' house, where we hung out and visited, looking at the chickens and goats, holding bunnies, and having Clara's hair braided by Kayli's youngest sister, Holly.  Clara got a turn braiding Holly's super long hair as well, which was really cute.  

A bunch of Kayli's aunts and uncles and cousins were there, some of whom we've met on previous visits in Texas or Utah but many who we hadn't met before, and it was wonderful getting to know them.  

Then that evening was the wedding and reception.  It was raining, but thankfully let up just enough for the ceremony to still happen outside under a gazebo.  It was our girls' first time going to a wedding, and they were very impressed with all of it, but probably most especially the popcorn bar at the reception afterwards, lol.  Oh, and Clara said she liked all of it except the "yucky kissing part".

We had a fun time just enjoying the reception, and then the next day we got up and ate waffles pressed in a Texas-shaped waffle maker, and went to church with Kayli's family, even though Kayli and Connor were off on their honeymoon.  We truly consider them all a part our own family.  We miss them so much and have loved the few visits we've been able to arrange in Utah over the years, but going back to Texas was just so unbelievably special, particularly for such a happy occasion.   

Clara took this picture of Kayli and Connor on her little Instax camera that prints pictures out like a polaroid and even though it's blurry and not the most amazing quality, I just love it.  

Hopefully I will be able to catch up on some other posts I've been meaning to write about soon!

Visit with Kayli

Last weekend, Clara and I flew to Utah to see Kayli.  I have been dying to see her for a long time now but she was busy doing sales all last summer and then she flew to Texas over Christmas while we were in Utah so it just hasn't worked out.  But I have been keeping my eyes open for decently priced tickets to Utah (is it just me or have ticket prices been way higher than in the past?) where Kayli is going to school and I scored big last Thursday when I found roundtrip direct airfare from SFO to SLC for $220 on Delta as long as I flew out Saturday and came home Tuesday.  So after a flurry of text messages with Kayli to make sure she was available, I booked the ticket and started packing. 

 

It was SUCH a great visit.  Kayli's homework load was light and she had Monday off of work to boot so we were able to spend a lot of time together.  We have been missing this girl SO, SO much.  Since we got in Saturday evening and Kayli had work, she said that she would just meet up with us on Sunday for church.  She drove up to Farmington to attend church with us in my parent's ward, which worked out great since she and I were able to hang out in nursery with Clara for the last two hours of church.  Clara got some coloring help from her Kayli.

 

Clara also tried on Kayli's shoes, which were amazing.  I can't get away with wearing heels like hers but I wish I could.

 

After church we got to go spend some time with Kayli's grandparents (Clara's biological great-grandparents).  We love these people so much and they are so kind and good to us and they love Clara so much.  Kayli's grandma is in a care facility so we ate dinner there with her and Kayli's grandpa and Clara had fun watching two fish in a fish tank.  Kayli's grandpa even found some fish food so that Clara could feed the fish, which she thought was hilarious fun.  Unfortunately, Clara didn't think posing for a picture was quite so fun.  Sundays are long days for her with interrupted nap schedules and she decided to be uncooperative for this photo, but I still wanted to capture a pic of her with her extended family anyway.  And just so you know, even though this looks like a sad face on Clara, it is actually a tantrum.  She just knows how to turn the waterworks on and off at a whim, which she decided to do once I pulled out the camera.  The moment I put it down and she got to slide off Kayli's lap and run around, the fake crocodile tears vanished.  You almost have to see her do it to believe Clara is capable of such trickery.

 

 

After dinner we got to go to Kayli's aunt and uncle's house and hang out there for a little bit meeting more of Kayli's family that I hadn't met before.  They are such incredibly nice people and we had a fun visit with them.  Clara was in a better mood by that time and showed off by giving a double round of hugs to everybody before we left, the little minx.  I wish I had thought to take a photo with them too, but I guess it will have to wait until next time.

 

On Monday my mom, my niece Emma, Clara and I drove down to Spanish Fork in the morning to my sister Jennie's house.  Jennie had let Emma stay with Grandma Cece for the whole weekend so that she and Clara could play as much as possible while we were in Utah.  Emma is possibly Clara's favorite person in the whole world and those two laughed and giggled and hugged and chattered with each other all weekend long.  Clara hasn't stopped talking about Emma since we left and "Emma" is often one of Clara's first words after waking up from naptime.  Jennie doesn't live too far from Provo where Kayli is going to school at BYU so Kayli was able to come by with a friend for part of the afternoon.  We enjoyed Cafe Rio salads and then played downstairs. 

 

 

Clara's imagination is really starting to develop and if you show her how to pretend things she will pick it right up.  She and Kayli were "washing" their hands in the sink of Emma and Lily's new kitchen that they got for Christmas.

 

 

Then they were baking up something delicious, I'm sure.

 

 

 

 

This is the best photo I have of the three of us together and unfortunately I look wretched in it.  But it was so fun taking it because Clara had just reached her arms around both our necks and pulled us all the way in to her until both our faces were touching hers.  You can't see her little hands or arms since our hair is covering them, but she was giving us both a little squeeze for this group photo and it was such a precious moment. 

 

We wish Paul could have come too but he had too much going on at work to get away.  I loved catching up with Kayli and hearing all about how things are going at the Y for her.  As I have been working on this blog post, Clara has been pointing at each picture and describing them for me by excitedly repeating "Kay-yee! Quair-uh! Momm-mee!" over and over.  We sure love our Kayli and we love open adoption.  Hopefully we can meet up again soon!

Today, a Year Ago

It is 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday and I am needlessly awake and feeling jittery.  Today is Clara's birthday. 

A year ago today, I woke up early as well but I was in Texas.  I think I trembled that entire day and I was all nerves and adrenaline and fear and pleading with Heavenly Father for everything to go well for everybody - the baby, Kayli, me, Paul who was in California, the doctors and nurses, Kayli's family, even Clara's birthfather who I have never met. 

I felt alone a lot that day and oh how I wished Paul could have been there with me.  I don't know how he sat at his desk at his new job at a big law firm where he had started just two weeks prior and focused on assignments and billable hours.  I felt alone waking up in beautiful enormous Texas home that was not my own where I was staying with friends of Kayli's family from church and getting ready to drive a rental car by myself to Kayli's, then to the birthing center, then to the hospital.  I felt alone gathering up the tiny clothes for the little baby who I knew would change my life forever and putting them into a bag to sit on the seat beside me for company while I drove.

I felt so alone standing in the sterile white hallway of the hospital with my bluetooth earpiece in and camera in hand waiting for Clara to be born by c-section just fifteen feet away from me but separated by two doors through which I was not allowed to pass.  When a tearful Kayli was wheeled out of the operating room and past me to her room, I felt like I couldn't breath because my chest was so tight with the love and worry I had for her.  Because I was pretty sure that she, more than any other person, felt the way I felt that day.  At least, if I were in her place, even surrounded by doctors and nurses and parents who loved me, I think I would have felt alone.  And alone is often a difficult place to be by one's self.

I woke up today thinking about Kayli and how much we love her.  She won't be here for the little party we are having for Clara later today with friends, but I think I will carry her around in my heart all day.  I will also be thinking about Kayli's mom and the special moments we had together in the days leading up to Clara's birth, those few minutes when we stood together in the hallway before she went in to be with Kayli during the birth, and the days after Clara's birth when she gave me lessons in infant sponge bathing and fingernail clipping.  And each of Kayli's siblings and her dad have been on my mind this morning too.  I got to know them all pretty well during the month that I was there and I wonder if they woke up this morning remembering that today is Clara's birthday. 

My mind was reeling last night while looking at Clara sleeping in her crib so peacefully oblivious that today is her special day.  She takes up serious real estate in her crib these days and I don't know how she got so big, so fast. 

I wonder if I will feel bittersweet about all her birthdays like the way I felt on the actual day of her birth as well as this morning.  It is after 6:00 now and Paul is holding Clara on his lap and she is learning back against him and grinning at the video of she and I on the trampoline, which they are watching on his iPhone.  So I'm going to post this blogpost, even though there are a hundred other things it feels like I meant to say - or maybe I just am not satisfied that I said what I originally wanted to say well enough.  Either way, today is Clara's day, and it is time to celebrate.

Last Christmas/New Year's Post, then on to 2012

I have a number of random photos on my iPhone, so I thought I would post them on here before I lose them.  One of the really fun things about this December was receiving parcels on our doorstep on an almost daily basis, either things we had ordered or gifts from family. 

One of the packages contained cute ornaments that Kayli's youngest brother made for Clara.  Before they went on the tree, Clara wanted to put them in her mouth.

Clara was completely wild at the airport on the night we flew to Salt Lake.  It was WAY past her bedtime and she was super tired, but there was just too much going on for her to fall asleep.  The only way I could get her focused enough to take her bottle was to lay her on my lap and let her drink almost upside down.

My grandpa sets  up this train around their Christmas tree every year and they really wanted the little girls (Clara, Emma and Lily) to come by and enjoy it.  I have fond memories of watching the Christmas train go around and around with its flashing lights and dancing figurines.  Clara enjoyed it too.

The day after our sealing, I ended up having a number of things come up with work that basically stressed me out like crazy and I turned into an angry bear.  For my own sake, as well as for the sake of Paul's family who surely didn't want me around when I was being such a mental case, I banished myself to the storage room in the basement and spent the majority of the day down there working on my laptop and hiding from my 7-year old niece who was demanding that I paint my nails with her or watch her Barbie movies (those shows are horrible - seriously, the worst).  I made an angry face to prove how I felt about working over Christmas break.  Why doesn't the whole world just shut down that week?  Would that be so hard?

We flew Southwest on the way to Utah, but on the return trip we flew Jet Blue.  I am a big Jet Blue fan.  The seats are more spacious, the snacks are better, and everybody gets their own t.v. to watch.  The only problem was that we had a stop in Long Beach where we had to get off the plane, wait long enough for me to hose down Clara in the bathroom after she had one of her messiest diapers ever (I just threw away the onesie she was wearing underneath her clothes it was so bad), and then we got right back on the same plane we had previously been on.  I love airports where you get to deboard outside by walking down stairs rather than going straight into the terminal.  It makes me feel like a foreign dignitary or something.

Now that Clara can crawl in a dead sprint and wants to stand almost all the time, flying with  her isn't nearly as easy as it was when we went to Hawaii in October or Utah in August.  Back then, she would just doze off in my arms.  But now she flings herself bodily back and forth between me and Paul, occasionally laying across both of our laps and munching on yogurt puffs to keep her entertained in such a small space.  At one point, she grabbed for my ginger ale and knocked it over, spilling it off the little tray and into my shoe.  Yuck.  She never cried, but she was kind of loud a few times.  Good thing we don't have any more trips planned for a little while I guess.

Paul and I fight over who gets to push Clara in her stroller when we go on walks.  A new family game is for me to run in front of Clara while Paul chases me with the stroller.  I zig and zag to get away from them and Clara thinks it is hilarious while I burn a few extra calories.

When we go for late night walks after Clara's bath, this extra-thick and warm jumper that my mom gave Clara for Christmas keeps her nice and cozy in her stroller.  This is Clara's table that she got for Christmas.  We were a little sad when we realized that LeapFrog changed out the banjo that is on the older model of the table that Jennie has for a not as cool guitar on the newer model.  Clara still obsesses over this toy though and it is perfect for helping her practice her standing.

Jessica celebrated her 23rd birthday on December 30th.  Clara helped her to unwrap presents.

Jessica found darling sweatshirts for the girls with the saying "Auntie Rocks" on the front, so we dressed everybody up and took a photo of Jessica with all three of her nieces.

I enjoyed holding Lily.  She is such a hefty, darling little bundle and just the smiliest, sweetest thing.  Clara and I spent time playing with Lily on the floor in the family room.  I am so happy that Clara will have girl cousins so close to her in age.  Clara and Lily will probably be in the same grade growing up and I am hoping that they can be close friends.

The purple and pink polka dot and leopard print dress is my new favorite outfit of Clara's.  My mom and I found it at Naartje when my family was visiting us over Thanksgiving.  It looks like it was made for her, and the matching tights are beyond perfect.

On the day that Kayli had to fly back to Texas, we wanted to take some photos with her and Clara.  It was so wonderful having her spend so much of Christmas with us and we miss her a lot already.  We had a great time going to lunch with Kayli and another adoptive couple who we have become friends with through our blogs (and who, incidentally, are approved to adopt again and are in the waiting phase right now - please look at their website and pass their info along!) and their son's birthmom, taking Kayli to dinner at our favorite restaurant, Bombay House, for chicken tikka masala, and just spending time together chatting about life and plans and how awesome adoption is.  Paul and I have been so unbelievably blessed by having Kayli come into our lives and we love her so much.

Okay, that is it for Christmas and New Year's photos.  I finally feel like I am finally pretty much caught up with the blog as far as photos go now.