Remember how we used to be friends? I'm not sure when we grew apart, but I have a birthday coming up next month and I would love it if you came back as a present. I miss you.
Dear 17-year-old Self,
Remember when you vowed that you would never weigh more than 120 pounds? That was totally unrealistic. And unhealthy. And your body freakin' rocked even though you felt chubby. Contrary to what you thought back then, you did not have rolls on your stomach and you looked great. Seriously, amazing.
Your fond friend,
Dear Present Self,
I know you feel a little chubby and running hasn't been helping. The honest truth is that you CAN go a day without cookies. I promise. And even though your stomach isn't flat and your jeans aren't loose around your legs, you still look pretty hot (if-i-do-say-so-myself). Just lay off the sweets, m'kay?
A secret admirer
Dear Cookies, Cupcakes, Brownies, Ice Cream, and Pie,
It would really be better if we weren't on speaking terms anymore. It's nothing personal. But this is not just a weight thing and if I don't put an end to our seeing each other every day soon, I will become a full-blown diabetic thanks to some lousy genes and we don't want that, now do we?
Dear Biggest Loser,
Every season you continue to inspire me. Why do I get choked up while watching you?
I conquered you yesterday and you know it. But I cowered in fear today and took Clara on a short walk outside instead while pretending it was exercise. Tomorrow, I will own you again. Consider yourself warned.