Interaction #1: You may not know this, but my hidden talent is that I can get out of most any speeding ticket. Seriously, I've been pulled over many, many times (can't count the number on two hands even). I have only ever gotten (not a word, I know) one speeding ticket and that was for going 25 in a 15 zone on a balmy Sunday afternoon in downtown Provo when I stumbled into a speed trap and the police cited me even though there was seriously not another soul within five miles (give or take). I like to drive fast, okay?
The other day I was cruising through downtown Campbell at 7:45 in the a.m. on my way to work when a police officer stepped out into the middle of the road across the street from the Home Depot and waved me into a parking lot. He had been lurking behind a bush--a BUSH people--with his speed gun pointed through the leaves, the little sneak. He clocked me going 39 in a 25 zone. So what's a girl to do? Flirt, you ask? Definitely no, you amateurs. Cry? Puh-lease, that only worked once when I was sixteen and the cop who pulled me over was the father of one of the girls on my dance team. Lie? Deny? Make up an excuse? Instead, I tell the truth, say I'm sorry, and shrug with not quite half a smile that says "whadda'ya do?" The officer came back after running my license and plates and told me that I was getting my one warning and then I was on my merry way.
Interaction #2: Tonight I was driving home from work through downtown Campbell when a police car passed me going the opposite direction. The officer was blatantly holding a cell phone to his ear and chatting like a middle-school-aged teeny bopper. I was law-abidingly on my bluetooth at the time talking to my mother, otherwise I would have hollered "HYPOCRITE!!" at him through my window. Talking on your cell phone without a hands-free device is illegal in California. ILLEGAL, you read me? Paul says I'm confrontational.